Alright, so the Padres have lost a few games lately. It's no big deal, we are still in first place. But the liberal media with their east coast values and godless agenda have been ripping the Padres apart. They hate America and they hate the troops, and they hate our patriotic ways.
They hate that the Padres have been the best team in baseball almost as much as they hate George Bush, the liberator of Iraq and master of free market capitalism. I'm sure Obama and his Chicago Kenyan thugs are conspiring right now to make sure the umpires fix the game tonight.
But that won't stop me. I will be handing out anti-Obama literature outside of Petco before tonights game. It's time to throw a fresh coat of white paint on this great land of ours.
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